“I shouldn’t have to tell him. He should know what I want,” Cindy thinks about her husband. She believes he should know when she’s in the mood to go out for pizza, not sushi and vice versa. He should know what she wants for her birthday. He should know what turns her on sexually. She wonders how he can be so clueless, but she doesn’t say a word.
Some people can get their needs met without saying a word. They’re called infants.
A mother learns to read her baby’s cues. She soon knows which kind of crying means “I’m hungry,” “I’m tired,” or “I’m uncomfortable; I need my diaper changed.” She understands which body movements and facial expression say “I’m scared,” “I’m happy,” and “I want that.”
Does True Love Mean He Can Read Her Mind?
Adults who find partners who can read their mind exist in fairy tales and romantic movies. There, charmed couples don’t need to be told how to give the perfect kiss, gift, or massage.
What do these examples of mind-reading have to do with real life adult relationships? Very little, even in the best of marriages.
Usually, the best way to feel understood by your partner is to say clearly what’s on your mind kindly and respectfully. Even the most sensitive, intuitive spouse cannot read your mind any more than you can read his or hers. Yes, in a good relationship, there will be some tuning into each other, but don’t expect miracles.
If your self-expression was stifled when you were young, you’ll have some catching up to do as you learn to feel more comfortable speaking your truth. This is okay, and…